The mismatch nobody mentions
One of you pictures travel; one pictures grandkids and a garden. One wants to downsize; one would rather die than sell the house. None of this is a problem, unless it stays unspoken until the moving truck conversation. The couples who do this well surface the differences early, while they're preferences instead of positions.
A process that works
Answer the same questions separately, then compare. (The Picture Check works well for this. Take it twice.) Sort what matters with something structured: our first-meeting exercise literally deals a deck of priority cards, each of you sorts, and the overlaps and gaps appear on the table where you can talk about them kindly.
Then fund the plan in that order: shared essentials first, shared dreams next, and a deliberate allowance for each person's own thing. Separate priorities aren't a threat to a marriage's retirement; unfunded, unspoken ones are.
Written by the team at The Retirement Life, led by Rc Arseneau, CFP®. This is education, not individualized advice. Your situation deserves a real conversation before any decision.