Becoming the CEO of Your Health with Kelley King (Part 2)

Episode 9 You're [music] listening to the Retirement Life Podcast, a place where we help you cast a vision for your retirement and take the next steps to live it. I'm Tony Hall here with my co-host Rc Arseneau. And each episode, we'll bring [music] you real stories, honest conversations, and practical ideas to help you build a retirement that's meaningful and life-giving. Let's jump in. [music] Well, welcome back to the Retirement Life podcast. Today we are continuing our conversation with Kelley King and uh talking about his health journey alongside our co-founder Madison Justus. If you haven't listened to part one, our last episode, I want to encourage you to go back and start there. It'll give you a foundation of what we're talking about today. But Kelley, the last time we talked, you told us really about the incredible way that you found out that you had cancer, which really is this miraculous story. It's incredible. But would you mind letting our listeners know where you have been since then and how are you doing? Well, treatment started beginning of last year and I didn't talk much about the treatment process itself, but you know, chemotherapy is kind of a it's no fun and had a few complications there with just lost weight, lost energy, but uh got through that, got through a surgery and um got through the radiation and so that's behind me. I'm still taking some I guess amunotherapy and uh as far as side effects, I still have some a lot of lingering nerve pain in my feet from the chemotherapy. Wow. But as I don't know if I stressed this before, I had absolutely no symptoms when this started. Wow. And so, you know, I've got some stuff I'm dealing with now, but if this wasn't caught when it was, who who knows where I'd be now, right? Or where I'd be in a couple years. So, um I'm I'm grateful. What are some of the things that you have come to realize through this season? One is if you keep going in the same direction you're going, you're going to end up where you're pointing. And and if you I'm a pilot and you know that if you don't know where you are and you don't know where you're going, who knows where you're going to end up. And so to have a a good solid self assessment of where you are is is a great starting point. But then you have to have a know where do you want to be? And I didn't really have a category for what I wanted my health to look like in 10 years. Five years ago, I didn't. Two years ago, I didn't. Now I do. And having a starting point and an ending point and then also along the way, you always get blown off course. And so to make midcourse corrections to point your way back to to that destination is important. Can you tease that out a little bit? the whole five or 10 year plan of this is where I want to be health-wise. What in in just a 30,000 foot overview, what does that look like? Well, I can say just simply I'd like to have a longer, healthier, better life. That's pretty vague. Mhm. And that might be my destination, but I'm convinced that unless you really know why you want to get to that destination, strength of why do you want to get there is going to determine what you're going to put into getting there. Wow. Yeah. And I can say, well, I want to get there, but if I don't really care if I don't really know why, that's different. And so, I guess that's another point is to really know your why. That's really why do I want to be healthier? Why do I want to be here in 10 years and 20 years? And after having seven kids in the seven grandkids in the last seven years, that's a big part of my why. and just being able to pour what I days of my life that are left to pour those into those little little people. It's really exciting and it's at the top of my list and it's awesome. And there are other things there, too. I feel like God did everything except send me a certified letter that said, "Hey, you you've got cancer. You need to deal with it." Yeah. Um because I got something for you to do. Wow. And so that still that speaks to the why as well. Yeah. That's that's beautiful. Well, that's really what we want this second part of of this discussion to be about is the why. We talked about last week just it's really amazing that you pushed forward and didn't accept just you're okay. So, what would you say to the person who might be anxious about a test like this going into it? Now they've heard your story and so they may be curious and yet anxious about if I do this, man, what am I going to find out? What's going to come up if I go through this process? Being anxious, um I'd like to say I'm never anxious, but you know, the more you age and and face your own mortality, the more you realize that stuff happens and but not knowing isn't going to help it not happen. And not knowing if you have a condition is is not a solution. It might be a coping mechanism, but it it's not a solution. So, you need to know now. Early detection makes sense. You're going to know if you have a problem. The question is when. And do you want to know now when you've got a lot more things you can do about it? And I know just by, you know, them catching this at stage two, I have a lot better chance of of being there to see a, you know, grandkid go down the aisle or play high school football game or do all that cool stuff. That's awesome. That's great. Well, is there anything that you've learned through this process that you think would benefit others who might be approaching retirement age or maybe are already there? Well, you Madison repeated one of my my favorite lines is you just just think about some of the things you're doing today and is your future self going to thank you for that? Sounds just so simple and almost stupid, but it's really true. And we do so much to sh up our retirement financially. Mhm. But we don't do much to sh it up, you know, emotionally and and physically, overall wellness. And it doesn't just happen. Yeah. And we might think it just happens, but you have to take those minutes you have in the day. And if if exercise is a priority, you need to do it. And so being being intentional, I guess, would be one of the things. And then just as far as managing the whole process, you are the CEO of your health and or the pilot of your plane. And you know, sure, other people can affect that in some ways, but you know, you're the man on the spot and you need to take it seriously and and it's all on you. You can get help, but it's all on you. It's excellent. As we've said many times, and you're going to hear us say many more times at the retirement life, that's really what we desire is we want to prepare people for more than just being financially ready for retirement. We want you to have the best retirement you could possibly have. Madison, just uh to to switch to you for a bit. What advice would you give to someone approaching retirement about uh things like self-care, health screenings, and on and on. I loved what you said, Kelley. You're going to know. And of course, we use the analogy of the check engine light on the car. We have symptoms that we like to brush it off. we think it's not that bad or it's not bothering me enough or maybe we fear the doctor's not going to take it seriously right now anyway so what's the point I've heard several stories of the same incidents where people think that they have indigestion and what it turned out to be was that they were leading up to a heart attack maybe had they gotten that checked out would they have avoided even more ideal though is preventing the heart attack altogether or not having any warning signs and maybe you won't even have to get to that point. And that's what these preventative screenings are for and that's why the self-care is so important. And we all know what that looks like. Typically, it's exercise and healthy diet and other lifestyle changes, but we have to be so intentional and diligent about our care that we're receiving as well. And like you said, you're kind of in the driver's seat. I think a lot of us like to put that responsibility on the doctor, but your doctor only sees you for a couple minutes, maybe a couple times a year. You've got to take care of yourself the the other the days that your doctor's not with you. As soon as you walk out that door of their office visit, it's all on you. And and you need to tell the truth to your doctor, too. Boy, a lot of times you go in there and you you want to look better than you are. Well, you know what? You don't want to look better than you are with your doctor. You want to be completely transparent and and communicate. You have to listen to what's going on in your body and communicate the stuff that's going on, too, which is not easy to do. You have to write some stuff down and let them know about it. Yeah. Right. I so appreciate you saying u because I think it's important for it hit me. I hope our listeners hear it too that your doctor sees you for a few minutes once or twice a year and I think a lot of us just have this understanding or thinking that he's got this or she's got this magic and so I' I did my going in but making sure that exactly what you guys are saying that we're we're taking the steps before and after for self-care and health prevention but as you consider that Madison Kelley had to advocate for himself. What practical steps can our listeners take to be prepared for those kinds of conversations when they have their appointment with their doctor that they're going in prepared to have that type of a conversation. Right? So, I would say most systems are using some kind of online patient portal or an app. And a lot of people are resistant to those. They tell me, "I don't like the emails and the notifications that go off all the time or I lost my password and I never figured it out again." That's kind of the way now. And I like you guys said to write things down, write your questions down or your symptoms down so you remember to bring them up with your doctor. I saw some advice to message the doctor the things you want addressed before your appointment. I thought that was really good advice. send them the, "Hey doc, looking forward to seeing you next week. Here's the things I want to address." That way he knows, maybe he can be better prepared to answer your questions by the time you get there. I thought that was really good advice. I also think at the end of your visits, verbally process out loud with your doctor, here's what I'm supposed to do next. Here's my responsibility moving forward. I'm going to schedule this test. I'm going to start taking this medication. and then a followup with you in 3 months. Is that correct, Doc? And to be on the same page with your doctor is also really important. But making sure you know what you are supposed to be doing for moving forward. I think that that can be really helpful in having those conversations and making sure that you guys are both on the same page. Read those after visit summaries too. I've read some of those and a couple weeks later that I don't even remember us talking about that. Right. It's good. I I will admit until the last year I would just call my doctor's office and just tell leave a message, hey, here's what's going on. And I know that they were rolling their eyes and saying, "Please read where we say and listen on the message that you can use the app." And so I have transitioned to the app. And I'm telling you listeners, if you're resistant to that stuff, it really is a a blessing. Just you get on, you message and let them know what's going on. And it's a great thing. It's also you can view your own test results often and your medications, manage your appointment times there. There's a lot of benefits to it. Absolutely. And keeping yourself in the know. Yeah. Andy, you might want to journal, too, which I I keep telling myself I need to do that more often. But to know that, you know, I quit taking this supplement and, you know, three days later I started feeling this way or that's wise. Yeah, that's really good. Well, Madison, would you say that you find as a nurse more people advocating for themselves now or do you think Kelley's story is more of an exception? I don't know. It it might come down to personality even of the individual. You said you're an inagram 9. You're a peacemaker. If your doctor says you're good, then you're good. I think I might be like that a little bit, too. Some people are more persistent, willing to push back, question things. I think that to know yourself, you might know, I need to bring somebody that I'm close to and that I trust alongside me for this part. they're better at asking the follow-up questions or maybe being a little more persistent, but also like you said, know your why. What's your reason for doing this? I think that that gives you a little bit more motivation to keep pushing and doing what needs to be done for your health. That's great. And striking the balance, too, cuz once you have something happen, I I think back to the flying an airplane. If you fly for 100 hours and nothing ever goes wrong, you're fine. But after the first time you have it, something happens, something breaks, you really get very sensitive to any change in vibration or sound. Well, and that happens in your body, too, especially after you have something and they they go and cut and then they poison you and other stuff. Um, stuff things change and it's like that there's a new vibration there. Mh. Um, so having a balance between being proactive about it and and then not freaking out about it, you know, because every time the little toenail hurts, doesn't mean you have to go to the doctor, right? Right. Yeah. That's a great analogy, though. So, what would you say to someone listening right now who feels like it's too late to make changes? They're dead. Well, they must be. It's never too late to make changes. I think one day at a time. You take it one day at a time. What can I do right now, today, to improve my quality of life? Is it for my physical health or my mental health? Regardless, there's always something you can do to improve your life. And I'm going to brag on my grandmother here a little bit. She had stage four cancer and going through treatments. And one day it was time to to stop treatments. And she went home. She went on hospice. And it was just never too late though. She wasn't walking, but it was never too late to improve her quality of life. And it took work and effort on her part, but she worked on her mobility. And that was her focus for that time in her life, working on mobility to a point she's getting herself on the bus to go play bridge with her friends. Wow. That's an inspiration, right? Um, absolutely. So, it's never too late. Think of one thing. What can I do that's going to make me better today? That's so good. Mobility. That's such a great point, too, cuz I never woke up in the morning said, "Boy, I'm I'm thankful that I can walk without my feet hurting." But, you know, once once you have mobility issues, you really need to appreciate and take care of those feet and take care of that core and the stuff that helps you be mobile. That's good. But, uh, it's honestly so important. We had one person comment recently. One of our posts said, "Since I retired, I've been counting down my days left here. I've lost a son, lost my parents, lost a dog. I've also had a stroke, had cancer, surgery, and chemo. That's devastating. That is a horrible, sad story, but also a reminder, and I so appreciate you giving the story about your grandmother because you can do something to just take a step toward bettering your your life. Kelley, you mentioned earlier the need to have someone to help you with being organized or just having a helper through these things, particularly in an appointment, having someone come with you. But but there may be some of our listeners who at least feel like they don't have someone for that. Maybe they live alone. And so what can they do? If there's someone who just feels like, I don't have someone who can go with me, is there something that they can do? First, I'd say for a lot of people, they they might have those people. They just aren't going to ask because of their own pride or, you know, I don't want to I didn't ask my I've got two sons live in town. I I never I asked them once to, you know, come over and bring me something and I I really didn't ask for any rides and I probably should have. So, I guess one point is there probably people out there that would help you, but you're going to have to ask them. And when people offer, accept it. And also, there are are groups that will help. I mean, I know um I did a talk for a foundation over in Dayton and they have people that will come and get you and take you to the doctor and go with you and help you take notes and so there's a lot of resources out there. Check them out. For sure. So, Kelley, as you reflect back on this journey, what encouragement would you give to someone listening right now who may be afraid of what they'll find out if they dig any deeper into their health or may just be kind of complacent with where they're at? Well, a lot of people they have jobs, they have responsibilities, whether it's as a parent or they run companies and there's just the tyranny of the urgent. I've got to get my taxes done. I mean, I remember my dad, he was two days from dying and he was worried about doing his taxes. Wow. And doctors, you need to do your estate plan, not your taxes. And so, nothing's more urgent than taking care of yourself. And so, that would be one thing I would say. And uh don't be afraid to ask for help. And uh as I said earlier, as far as early detection, you're going to find stuff out. And when do you want to find out? Find out now. And we're not invincible. We are all going to leave this earth. And but let's enjoy and suck up the last days we have the best we can. That's great. Well, Kelley, Madison, thank you both so much. This has just been a great discussion. Kelley, your persistence, your courage is inspiring and I'm grateful that that you're here and sharing it and that our listeners can hear it. Madison, thank you for your wisdom and just insights and things. For those listening, we really do hope these conversations remind you that your health matters, that you don't have to walk it alone. So, make sure you're following us on Facebook at the Retirement Life for more encouragement, for more resources, and of course, subscribe wherever you get your podcast so you don't miss what's coming next. But until next time, keep imagining the life you've dreamed of, and take one small step toward it this week. Thanks so much. This podcast is intended for [music] general information, educational, and entertainment purposes, and is not intended to provide financial, legal, medical, health, or lifestyle advice. Individuals should seek their own advice [music] from a qualified professional. It is not an endorsement of any particular product, service, or organization. The opinions and views expressed [music] in this podcast are those of the participants and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the retirement life. The retirement life and Arseneau Financial are separate entities. [music] This podcast is not to be considered a solicitation for investment or financial planning services through Arseneau Financial LL