Keep Moving: Lessons From 27 Years of Retirement

Episode 4 Transcripts You're listening to [music] the Retirement Life Podcast, a place where we help you cast a vision for your retirement and take the next steps to live it. I'm Tony Hall here with my co-host Rc Arseneau. And each episode, we'll [music] bring you real stories, honest conversations, and practical ideas to help you build a retirement that's meaningful and life-giving. Let's jump in. Well, welcome back to the Retirement Life podcast. I'm Tony Hall. I'm here with my co-host Rc Arseneau. Today we're continuing our conversations about what it means to build a meaningful life in retirement. Not just financially, but in all the ways that matter most. One of the things that RC uh you mentioned in our last episode is what we call non-financial currencies. And at the top of the list of that is time. How we spend our time, uh how we waste our time, and and mostly um how we seek to use time with purpose. Uh today we have a very special guest with us. Um Howard Prigosin. We're so glad that you're here. Uh Howard has modeled what it looks like to use time well. Uh to stay curious and to live well in retirement. And so uh we're excited to have Howard here with us. Uh I just met Howard earlier today and I am uh I'm known for saying I'm excited about podcasts. I'm so excited uh about you being here, Howard. Such a joy to have you. Thank you, Tony. Well, Howard, um, one of the first things we want to do is is just kind of ask you if you can share um, for us a little bit about yourself and and just give us a maybe like a 40,000 foot overview of what retirement has looked like for you. Well, where to begin? Um, retirement is really a lot of things. And I like to think of it as being freedom because you're not tied down to a specific time schedule uh unless you choose to be. And uh that is really something to look forward to. Um, I all I could say is not to burst your perception of me, um, it's I I'm not sure I use my time well all the time, but I do things that I find meaningful and uh, enhances my life. I think that's beautiful. Um, and and and I think really our goal in the retirement life, whether it's the podcast or, uh, in general, is that's what we want. I mean, we don't think there's a a rigid plan for everyone. And so, uh, you're not bursting any bubbles at all. That's that's beautiful. Um, but what do you think has helped you? Um, first of all, how long have you been retired? I've been retired uh, well, let me do a quick math. Uh probably uh 27 years or so. Yeah. I can't remember working to tell you the truth. Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. Uh I'm sure we covered that a little bit, but um what has helped you with with that? Because one of the things we talk about uh in the retirement life is most people approaching retirement um you know we we all say if we had more time if I just had more time I would do this. Um, but we don't necessarily realize what it means for you to just have 40 hours to 60 hours that were tied up with work business free now and open up. So, how how would you say you have uh what's been bene beneficial to you in taking that huge block of time and making use of it in some meaningful way? Well, first of all, I'm not sure I had a plan. Um, I think it was more of an evolution that has taken place. Um, I remember the day I retired, it was a few days after that, my wife and I went down to Costa Rica for a month. Wow. And I think that kind of helped shift from going to work to being more um relaxed and looking for other things to do. And then once um uh we got back um I wanted to um carry on my life as I have uh had before which meant getting into a uh a better raetball game maybe at a little earlier hour and stuff like that. And that really was my focus in the early years. And then uh shortly after that, about a year or two after that, we moved from Cleveland to Columbus. And um that was a shift for me because I moved into an environment where except for my children, I really didn't know too many people. So I mean, what do you do at that point? You try to duplicate what you had in Cleveland, in Columbus. And for me, that meant getting into a raetball game. And I remember uh going to a lot of different places trying to play and I found out very quickly that if you didn't have a partner, you weren't playing. And I was fortunate to uh go to the uh JCC, the Jewish Community Center, and there were pe people playing raqa ball there. And I remember asking, well, how do you get into this game? and they say you show up with a racket and shoes and safety glasses and you got it. So from that point on uh from Sunday morning on Tuesday on Thursday you show up you were in a game you didn't have to worry about who you were playing with and if you will uh I you know I met people who have become special to me over the years and uh there's been a lot that has taken place since that beginning. Excellent. Excellent. Hey Howard, for the for the benefit of our listeners, would you mind sharing how old are you today? How old am I today? You mean precisely or Well, you know, you can round up or down. I'm 89 years old. I'll be 90 come July next year. Yes. Awesome. And you retired at what age? I retired to 62 and a half. Okay. And I I can say, Howard, you and I, we just were talking over lunch that we've we we've known each other now for 10 years. Yes, we have. Okay. And one thing that I that I just love is I'm still working I Right. Thank you. Uh in multiple businesses, but when you and I try to coordinate a lunch or coordinate a whatever. Um oftent times the availability that's the most difficult to nail down is not mine, it's yours. I'm sorry. [laughter] No, that's what we're speaking about. So even today, so you just shared how you started, but how has that evolved into how you operate and think of your days today? Well, uh from that um uh through raetball, I met a number of uh retired teachers who invited me to come play golf with them on Monday. So that segueed me from raetball also into golf and uh um that was filling up my time because now I was active Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Um and uh Oh man, I [snorts] apologize. It's okay. My wife, she's so uncomfortable if she doesn't know where I am. That's beautiful. I apologize. Beautiful. Yeah. Um so, um going back to how how I segue, uh a number of things happened. I mean, I I don't know where what the beginning or the ending was. Um and you know, I'm also involved beside sports into cars. Yeah. So, um when we came down to Columbus, we brought our Miata with us and we joined the Miata Club. So we had a group of people that we uh traveled with and interacted with. Um when I before I came down I got a phone call from my son-in-law wanting to know if I wanted a third interest in Alfa Romeo. I said when I asked what that meant it mean I was told you give us $1,000 and you could hang out with us. I thought wow they want to be my friends. So I gave them $1,000. Uh, and that got me into the Alfa Romeo Club. Um, uh, and along the way, you know, instead of sharing a car, I ended up with my own car, which ended ended up being two cars because I invited my grandson when he was 16 16 to go to a convention with me. And because I didn't get it I didn't get a chance to drive my car on that trip because I was being nice to my grandson Daniel. There happened to be a car for sale in the parking lot. Uh same car as mine, a 2.5 L compared to the 3 L that I had. So I bought it. Uh, I learned a little bit about my wife through that experience [laughter] because she pointed out to me that buying that car had nothing to do with Daniel. It was all about me, which, you know, made me take a little Well, we'll just let that go for now. But, um, uh, but, you know, so I'm involved, you know, in sports. I'm involved with the cars. And if you have an Alfa Romeo, um, you you need a support group because you need parts, you need people with knowledge to keep them running. And, you know, I spent many evenings and weekends working on cars just to um, make sure they ran and were reliable. So, that's just an opening. Yeah, that's great. I I so appreciate and I hope for our listeners that you're you're hearing throughout this. One of the things that is so important for us as a part of the retirement life for retirees is a focus on making sure you have community. And I hope you're hearing from from Howard the purposefulness in whether it's through raetball or uh a hobby with cars or whatever that you're seeking community in your life because um we don't want you to be living life or retirement alone. Uh Howard RC has shared with me um that you're always asking questions and that you're curious in life. Are you sure of that? See, [laughter] exactly. Thank you for proving the point. Um, what what keeps you curious at 89 years old? What what keeps you curious? Well, I don't personally know how you could not be curious. I mean, maybe it's just that I'm vocalizing my curiosity as opposed to wondering and let it go. I mean uh life is a journey and you either sign on and uh enjoy it or you get left behind. you know uh when I was uh invited to participate in this I started thinking to it about uh uh with myself you know where is this conversation going to go and I think as you age um you either you know you recognize that there's only so much time and you have to embrace every day trying to do as much or learn as much uh and look forward forward too as opposed to saying to yourself, it's kind of like the glass half full or half empty, you know, or you say to yourself, man, I've had a good life so far. If I go tomorrow, that would be fine. To me, that's a resignation, you know? I mean, uh, and I don't I'm not that type of a person. I can't imagine myself being that type of a person. And there's just so much more to do and learn. Mhm. Uh looking forward, I can't imagine it ending. I'm going to be disappointed when it does without knowing what's on the other side. Maybe, you know, I I could continue it on. I hope so. Yeah. Yeah. Howard, let me ask you that. You you had brought up that you're always wanting to be looking forward. I always look forward. I could find something good in any disaster. Yeah, I believe that. Let me ask you this. What are you looking forward to next now? Well, I have a lot of things to look forward to. Uh, you know, I'll just start with my grandkids. Um, my oldest granddaughter um has a significant other and we'll be married uh next year probably at this time. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. You know, if I live long enough, maybe I'll have a grandchild Mary. Do you hear? Uh, [laughter] you know, I mean, all I mean, Michael has a significant other, my other grandson. Uh, so who knows where that's going. Audrey has a significant other. Daniel, God bless him, is so busy that hopefully he'll have one before long and shift from cars and being creative to finding out what it's like to uh have someone prepare your dinner for you every night at 6:00. Well, speaking of your family, yes. Um you're you're married. You've been married for for Oh, golly. Uh uh come February, it'll be 67 years. Beautiful. Beautiful. What can you share with our listeners? What was that like as you stepped into retirement together? So, having a a marriage and certainly one of you probably retired before the other. What does that look like um relationally as you're stepping into retirement? Well, I could answer that in a number of different ways. I remember asking my wife one time, you know, it seems like I get the feeling that when I get home, you had just left. To which she said, "Duh, [laughter] you know, so how do I I mean, we know people who, you know, they retire and they decide they don't need two cars anymore. I cannot imagine a worse situation than [snorts] to share a car and do everything together." I mean, Ann, my wife Anne goes in her direction, I go in my direction. We always end up at the dinner table at six o'clock, you know, and we sleep in the same bed and stuff like that. I mean basically we we have our own friends and you know Ann has her friends, I have my friends, we have friends together and uh I can't imagine any I don't know how to describe it other than you you know whatever floats your boat that's where you go. That's awesome. That's awesome. What is there anything that you would um go back and adjust if you could? What would I to adjust? I'm not sure. Uh I mean, you know, you often think, well, would you like to be a young person again? And you the thought process is well yeah that would be wonderful you know but the odds are you'd probably live the same life that you did you know even though you might perceive you would do things differently. I'm not so sure. So I don't know where to go with that. Yeah. Uh that's a I'll get back to you. Honestly that's a good answer. Like it's a that's a happy content person's answer. So I appreciate that. Yeah. Um, what would you say to someone because certainly there's there's a listener who would fit into this and and maybe more than one. What would you say to someone who is struggling in retirement? Because I would say just having spent hours with you today, you are not struggling in retirement. You are joyfilled and curious and I love it. I've loved being with you and I have been filled with joy just being with you today. I think I have a new friend. for sure. So, what would you say to those who are are not feeling that way, who are struggling in their retirement? Well, I mean, you have to keep your eyes on the horizon. Uh, one of my favorite sayings would be ill wind blows for the ship without a port of destination. Now, if you're a sailor, you know what that means to me. It means if you don't know where you're going, you're never going to get anywhere. So, you have to have a vision. You have to be interested in something. You have to keep moving. If nothing else, you have to exercise because it's going to make you feel better. And there has to be something that you could do to get your thoughts away from yourself and think of others. If nothing else, if you just volunteer and help someone else, even if you help someone across the street, that person's going to remember you forever. So, all you got to do is wait for that person to come by at that street corner and you'll have another person to take across. I mean, it's like that. You have to keep moving forward because if you don't That's beautiful. You go backwards. Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, if someone takes one piece of advice from you today, what would you love it to be? Oh, you got to keep moving. Uh I remember when we first retired, my wife was rather sedentary and I had a mantra. You got to do something. You got to exercise. And thank heavens for Silver Sneakers. She now exercises theoretically more than I do. She's in excellent shape, you know, and I think if it wasn't for that, she wouldn't be able to do all the things that she does. You really have to I remember my father when he retired at the age of 65, he sat down on the porch in a glider. Mhm. And he was gone in five years. Wow. M you know because oh he might walk down the end of the street to watch a ball game or something like that but he did nothing. Yeah and I knew at an early age that that's not the way to go. It's great. Yeah, it's great. Well, Howard, thank you uh for sharing your story and your wisdom with us today. Um you reminded us that retirement isn't just about having enough money. It's about how we spend our days. It helps. I'm sure of it. [laughter] I'm sure of it. Uh how we invest in people, how we stay curious about life. Uh if you're listening today and you feel stuck or unsure about your retirement years, I hope you've been encouraged by this. Um before we sign off, I do want to ask you because you showed us that you brought um your list of uh universal truths, which is beautiful. Howard has a list. I think I saw there's like 25 things on it now. 26 or something that he keeps adding to of universal truths for life. You want to share one of those with us? Well, not really. Uh because [laughter] I want to share I want to share um a statement that Everett Dirkson said, I forget what year. I am a man of fixed and unbending principles. The first of which is to be flexible at all times. And I'd like to think that I'm following his uh um path. But then as we um uh talked about earlier, I'll just leave this other vignette to you. You could wrap your head around her or say he's nuts. Uh there was a fellow by the name of Horatio Luro Lura who was a Cuban horse trainer and his saying was I don't want to leave any juice in the lemon when I die. Yeah. And I don't know what that really means but there is so much more to do. Mhm. You know, you got to keep peeling peeling that onion skin back because even though you think you know everything, the depth of what's underneath, you know, and you could keep reading the same book over and over and over again, and you're going to learn something new every time. Absolutely. And there's so much to learn in so little time. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you so much, Howard. Well, to our listeners, thank you for joining us. If you've enjoyed this conversation, please share it with a friend who might need the encouragement. And be sure to subscribe so you don't miss out on the next episode of The Retirement Life. Also, we would love uh for you to follow us on Facebook as well. But until next time, imagine the retirement life you dream of and take one step this week towards making it happen. Thanks so much. This podcast is intended for general information, educational, [music] entertainment purposes, and is not intended to provide financial, legal, medical, health, or lifestyle advice. Individuals should seek [music] your own advice from a qualified professional. It is not an endorsement of any particular product, service, or organization. The opinions and views expressed on [music] this podcast are those of the participants and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the retirement life. The retirement life and Arseneau Financial are separate [music] entities. This podcast is not to be considered a solicitation for investment or financial planning services through Arseneau Financial [music] LLC.