The Four Cornerstones of a Retirement Transition

Episode 11 You're listening to the Retirement Life Podcast, a place where we help you cast a vision for your retirement and take the next steps to live it. I'm Tony Hall here with my co-host Rc Arseneau. And each episode, we'll bring you real stories, honest conversations, and practical ideas to help you build a retirement that's meaningful and life-giving. Let's jump in. Welcome back to the Retirement Life podcast. We're continuing our conversation on our unwrapping retirement course. I'm joined by Retirement Life co-founders RC and Dena Arseneau as well as Madison Justus. So glad for you guys to be here. Thank you so much uh for doing this with us. Uh if you missed the last episode, I want to encourage you go back and listen to it. Um that's that's going to help you best understand kind of what we're talking about today. Um but one of the foundations of the Unwrapping Retirement course is what we call the four cornerstones. Um, so can you give our our listeners RC Dina um give our listeners a a brief overview of what those are? Well, the the cornerstones are about transition, managing through transitions and obviously retirement is about a huge transition. So part of our deep dive that we did was like what's the best way to navigate a transition? And just in all of, you know, my research and reading and all of that, I recognized a pattern of what would benefit you in a transition. And so I kind of came up with this the four S's, which is support, structure, self-talk, and self-care. So, the four cornerstones, we kind of go through what that looks like, what those um four S's look like, and how they can help you transition into retirement. Not just retirement, but any difficult transition in your life. That's great. Well, a lot of people think um we we we talk about this often. It's really one of the main reasons we do what we do, but um a lot of people have this mindset. I is I've saved money for retirement. I've been saving money for retirement. uh I'm getting so close to the line or they get to the point where it's like I I'm I've done all this work so now I'm ready I'm ready to retire. But one of our our big goals is helping people create a plan that that kind of goes beyond finances. And so what would you say to someone who's listening right now who's approaching retirement um and maybe someone who's who's gone into but but if they're approaching retirement but they don't have that kind of plan yet. Maybe they've they've locked down all of the things they're supposed to do with finances, but outside of that, they don't have a plan. What would you say to them? Well, I you know, there's a few things that you could do. You know, if you're on the cusp of retirement, chances are you have friends who have retired or are also on it. Um, it's worth having a conversation about that. You know, if you know someone who has retired or recently retired, ask them, you know, what's that what's that looked like for you? like what are the things um that are working and like what what are things that like maybe you didn't see coming or that you wish you would have known a few a few years um earlier because again this transition is so much bigger than just the finances and that's really the part that I think people don't recognize and and that when if they could go back they would they would think I wish I could process a little more of what this transition would look like. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And in those conversations, I think one of the things with our course is just really wanting people to have meaningful talk outside of finances. Certainly finances is is is part of our course. But if you have those people in your life, you know, our encouragement would be maybe this course would be helpful to guide you in asking the right questions and having those conversations. But Dina, um, what would you say makes Unwrapping Retirement, the course Unwrapping Retirement, different from other retirement seminars or resources that people can find out there? Well, I think a lot of the seminars and resources on retirement are about different financial topics. It's either estate planning, a trust, a will, uh, an annuity, some type of investment. That's what the majority any any ones I've ever seen out there, that's what they are. It's some type of financial product. Um, and so what makes our ours different is that it's written from a um coaching perspective and it's, you know, we call it a course, but it's really a a coaching framework. So, and what that means is that a coaching um as as far as the International Federation of Coaching, they define coaching as like helping somebody go from point A to point B. So, when you're doing a coaching framework, you're saying, "Okay, this is where you're at and this is where you want to go." And you're asking yourself, it's the questions you ask to get you from point A to point B. And I think that's what makes this so different is that we're not telling you how to have an awesome retirement because we have no clue how you're going to have an awesome retirement because we don't know you. And I think that I see so many times where people are told you need to travel, you need to do this, you need to do that. How do they know? Like I, you know, nobody knows what you need to do. Only you know what you need to do. And that's what I love so much about it because regardless of who's taking it, everybody's going to walk away with something different. And you know, RC brought up in the last segment, he talked about like the dig deeps and the deeper dives. And um I have found myself like taking those um dig deeps. He has these recorded parts where you can listen and you ponder and then you answer questions. And I have listened to them over and over again. And sometimes I'll just like put on my headphones and turn it on and take a bath and just listen and just ponder. And it's one of those things where like the more you marinate on it and think about it, the more you start unpacking things and going like, hm, well, what about this and what about that? And um I can say in the journey of going through this, I had no idea where I was going to end up. Like it was, you know, it was and and continue to like it's an evolving thing. So that's what I love about it. That's great. That's really great. Well, if someone asked you, RC, in one sentence what they'll walk away with if they go through unwrapping retirement, what would you say? I think I think I'd have to say that they're they're going to walk away with the the knowing that they have some control over what lies ahead and and that what lies ahead is is is something that they are involved in. they they're determining that this is a this is an active retirement is active. It's it's not a passive word. It's an action word. And I think that that's um that's what I hope that they can walk away with because when you go through this processing through these different eight um parts of of the program, you will end up with a plan kind of a a summary of your next steps in in those areas. And um and that's important, you know, because just just pondering or just hearing that's that's great, but until some rubber meets the road, there's not going to be change. And there does need to be change in retirement. Yeah. Yeah. But I would say, you know, to lead into this next question, what you just mentioned, the the plan um at the end, I think that is what excites me the most as I consider the course. um even hearing the the two of you RC and Dena speak to that in the last um uh session of the course, it's just it's hopeful and and it's exciting. Um and so I think I I think I'm most excited about that. But I'd love to hear from you guys um as you consider the unwrapping retirement course, what what excites you most about it? I think what I'm most excited about with this course is just the ability um for people to actually engage together in a conversation and in and and in in a way that's it's organized, right? I mean, we've we've kind of set it up in a way that guides you through these conversations. Um but not in a controlling way. that's just crack kind of cracking it open for you and and giving you some some next things to consider. And uh I I guess I just feel like the the power of the course is that honestly you're just blocking off some space to allow yourself to consider these things, these these bigger things beyond money. And even though they sound kind of obvious, some of the words we're just bantering around like identity and relationships, like, well, yeah, of course those are transitions, but until you really give yourself a few minutes to really think about, well, what is this actually looking like when I go from point A to point B and it sinks in, that's when you realize, okay, there's actually something I I need to do to help with this pivot or or you're just going to feel frustration or you're going to get depressed or whatever because you just didn't really allow yourself to process. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I think I'm really excited about the community portion of it, the opportunity to foster community. Um, and I love the relationship session. Um, and part of that is I mean it is linked to physical wellness. I mean, it's it's actually considered a public health crisis right now. Um that people are lonely. Um it's linked to um increased risk of stroke and heart disease. I mean, like it's quite literally healthy to be in community. Um, so that's something I appreciate about the um, relationship session is the focus on um, the transition in your relationships and what changes about those relationships. And a little selfishly, I love how it talks about considering how your decisions in retirement affect the people around you and who you love. Yeah. Um, I mean, I have three young children and um, my parents and my in-laws are nearing retirement. Not retired yet, but nearing that. And um, I I think that it's important to have conversations about, you know, what are our expectations for each other when it comes to that transition in their life. I hope that they are super involved in my kids' lives and my in my life. And I've heard, you know, many stories of those those decisions that are made for their retirement really affect their kids and their loved ones. Um and and so I think that that's a really good thing to bring up and start conversations like that too. That's good. It's really good. Yeah, I love I love that medicine and I love talking about you know the importance of the conversations and um we have seen that a lot in this um of people having conversations that they never knew that they needed to have, right? And I think that really excites me about it. And I think I'm really excited to see people um have more control over their outcome. Obviously, life's going to hit us, things are going to happen that we can't control everything, but I guess not control, but prepare. You can be more prepared for it. And I think that really excites me is preparation part of it. Yeah, it's great. And if if I can add to that, the thing that I love about um the way that the cornerstones are adding in is that it's not only that you can prepare, but then here's a framework and a mindset and a language that we can all share together for when life doesn't go the way we thought that it would because then we can it it helps us identify. we can look at those cornerstones and say, "Okay, where's my structure at right now?" Like, "Do I need to be paying attention to my the way I'm using my time or like, you know, my support? Where am I getting support from?" Like, when life does hit you, that's those cornerstones are key. I think that's one of the just the things I appreciate most about those cornerstones. I've I've thought back to them so many times since we first created this a couple years ago. For me personally, I've just found so much value in those. Yeah. Just constantly asking yourself where is where's my support? And in that, you know, where am I getting my expertise from? I I think that's such an important part of our support that we don't necessarily think of. We think of support as friends or supportive, but we don't necessarily consider like the the part of support of like, you know, do I need to seek a counselor? Do I need, you know, do I need to go to my doctor? Do I need, you know, all these things that we're talking about of like where am I getting where's my source of expertise in my I think that's Does Tik Tok count? I think so. Oh, you said Tik Tok. I thought you said TED talk. I was like, "Yeah, TED talk." Ted, good. Fine. I I go back to episode one of the podcast and I had shared um just my own journey and and and how life-changing the focus group was for me personally and and in particular um the self-t talk talk aspect of it for me has been incredibly helpful and just reminding myself that you know we we we're human beings and there's a frailty to that and a strength to that. And so I think if if we lean towards the frailty part um our minds can spiral and and our thoughts can spiral and and and being purposeful in even how I'm speaking to myself about what may or may not be happening in my heart or my mind or whatever is is is so helpful and and um yeah that that question was not written by the way to just trick you guys into saying excited so many times because well if you follow us. If you follow us on Facebook, you know there is a video of excerpts of me saying how excited I am, which I am. Um, but uh let let me ask you this. What would you say um RC Dina um was one of the biggest aha moments that you've seen participants have when they've gone through the course? Um I've seen a lot of aha moments. I I think one in particular was about the cornerstones and I think that was a huge aha moment for someone. Um, another aha moment I saw was somebody who um was just making decisions based on what they thought they were supposed to do. And after, you know, about 75% of of the way through, they all of a sudden were like, "Wait a second. Why am I doing this?" Like, "Why am I making these decisions?" Um, I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to and I don't even know why I'm doing it. And I thought that was really cool watching somebody have that aha moment. That's great. Yeah. I think um there were there have been a lot of aha moments. I think what's been fun for me is watching aha moments that I never saw coming, right? even when we were creating this and it's just like wow this is like really hitting people in different ways than we even thought about and um but boy there have been a lot of of folks that have said man these we actually have had the like there there could be married people that have been married for 30 40 years and they and they come away from this course going we actually had new conversations that we've never had before on on topics which I mean we've been married 30 years and sometimes I feel like we've we've pretty much talked about everything you know five or six times you know and that I actually think that's so cool to be like man this is fresh you know so so so yeah there are fresh things when you hit your 50s and 60s there's still more actually to learn and to talk about and to and to commun be in community with each other with that's great that's Well, if someone is nervous about signing up, um, what would you want them to know? Do it. Just do it. Yeah, just do it. Press the button. I I would say this. I'd want them to know maybe just the structure of even how we have it out there right now is um, you know, the way that you engage in the course is just through a monthly membership. Yeah. So, I I would say look, just just sign up for a month. Check it out. You actually have full access to it. Like, if you wanted to to Netflix binge it, you could just cram it all in. and um but do it because I think I really do believe that if if someone will lean into it and I would encourage you find five or six friends or neighbors or the the book club or whatever just like if you're going to do it um a just even do one month just to get going. But then if you find that you like what you're seeing, take a big swing at it and do it with a group. Like do it together with somebody. even if it's just your spouse um or a partner or whoever and and actually give it a chance to sink in. Give yourself the space to do it. I think you know when we were working with a focused group, we had no idea what the course was going to look like. You know, we just had we just knew here's topics of things that people you know we think people want to talk about. And the feedback we got from the focus group is the power is in the conversations with each other. That's really where the power lies. Um, so I think that, um, first of all, to have a group, to lead a group, you don't need to be an expert on anything. There's, you know, I I think that so many people say like, I'm not an expert. Well, you don't need to be. You're literally, you're watching a video and you're having conversations about things. It's that simple. And the next thing I would say is take the time to do the dig deeps because um I have continually to find them to be so impactful. That's the portion that you do at home after you do after the after the group. Yeah. Yeah. I I think anytime I'm nervous about something um it's always easier if I do it with someone else. So, I I would just say like if you're nervous about it, but you're interested in it, um just grab a friend and and step into it together and and see what see what takes place. But well, let's look down the road a bit. Um what do we dream this course could mean for retirees, uh their families, even churches over the next few years? Dina, I'll ask you that. Well, I think um I think the best part is that it gives a common language for people to speak. Like I I think that's powerful. But I can say as somebody who has been, you know, a part of many church plants, has been, you know, involved in in churches, you know, over the last however many years, decades, um I have seen so many incredible, wonderful programs for youth and um we we've been some of a part of some of the best children's ministries, youth groups. We've been so incredibly blessed with that throughout our entire life. Very very blessed. So I think for me I see um churches have a huge opportunity here to um minister to this age group who have a lot to give. You know they really um they have a they have a lot of life left and a lot of wisdom. Yeah that's great. Well, if someone takes the course and they do it seriously, uh, how could their retirement look different than they imagined? Yeah. I I would say if they if they if they're going to go through the course, um it's I don't want to put like a a signature guarantee on it or anything, but but I'd be willing to bet that if you go through the course, the vision and the purpose that you have at the end is going to be different than you started with eight sessions earlier. And it it was for us and that's that's with us creating it, right? So, I mean, you think you know what you're creating and where it's taking, and then we get to the end and we went, "Wow, I didn't see that coming." You know, and so I think I think what you're going to experience is just um understanding that not not just that retirement is different and that we're living longer, which is true, but um but that we have control over the quality of that. And that's really what I think the power of this is is the more we lean into these topics, the the higher quality in so many areas that of the years and the days that we're going to have ahead of us. Yeah, I think that's exciting. Yeah, truly exciting. And and I would say whether it was our course or just random discussions that you had about these things, I would say the end result is going to be a more fulfilling retirement that you know we we go through younger years as we're looking ahead towards those that time when we don't have to work anymore. We can and and it's very dreamy and very you know I want to travel. I want to do this. I want to do this. I want to do this. Um, but being able to to center that and have a plan that involves people, that involves um serving, that involves whatever it is, I think you'll find that that life is more fulfilling in retirement as you go uh through that. Well, guys, thank you. This has been great. Uh RC, Dena, Madison, absolutely. Thank you for sharing. It's been a been a pleasure doing this with you guys. It's been a lot of fun. Yeah, it is fun. Well, if you are listening, uh we hope this gives you a glimpse of what unwrapping retirement is all about. Um it's not just a course. It really is an invitation to step into retirement with purpose um and with community, with other people and and we really desire that for you. If you are curious, check out more on our Facebook page, which is the retirement life um and then go to the course uh website which is www.theretirement. at the retirement.life. We'd love to see you become more purposeful in retirement. Uh but until next time, keep imagining the life you dreamed of and take one small step toward it this week. Thanks so much. This podcast is intended for general information, educational, or entertainment purposes, and is not intended to provide financial, legal, medical, health, or lifestyle advice. Individuals should seek their own advice from a qualified professional. It is not an endorsement of any particular product, service, or organization. The opinions and views expressed on this podcast are those of the participants and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the retirement life. The retirement life and Arseneau Financial are separate entities. This podcast is not to be considered a solicitation for investment or financial planning services through Arseneau Financial LLC.